Interesting night..
I got done working out at around 12am (I prefer to work out late) and then realized I had no food for the week so I dropped by good ole Wal Mart to pick up some groceries. Honestly, I shopped around for maybe 20 minutes, got what I needed to get, and was ready to go.. however there was only one register open (typical 12am Wal Mart behavior) and it was the 15 items or less register which means no conveyor belt and not much of a counter either.
As I walk up behind the person — I should say people in line (Mom, Dad, two whiney kids) I realize that they have this cart LOADED full of groceries. (By the way, the cart is loaded in such a way that the bag of dinner rolls are at the bottom of the cart, right beneath the sack of potatoes and cans of soup among other things.. but the DAD was manning that cart so I cut him some slack —sorry to the males who actually can load a cart correctly.)
So I’m standing there thinking to myself alright, no biggie, I guess I need to work on my patience anyhow, so I might as well just be polite and wait. (By the way, the Mom starts trying to be polite and tells me that I can go ahead of her, however, she and her whiney spawn have already started loading their twinkies and chips onto the counter and Register Lady has already started ringing things up. Dad has now vanished.)
For some reason, I started looking around the area searching for Dad (I had no higher priorities at that point) but instead of finding Dad, I realized that there were two more carts in front of the cart that Dad was pushing earlier! So the current total was now three (extremely densely loaded) carts.
THREE CARTS!!!!!!
While coming to terms with the fact that I was probably never going to ever leave Wal Mart by sunrise, two girls my age come up and stand in line behind me, and then a man and a woman directly behind them. A few minutes later, Asian-in-the-yellow shirt (that I saw enter the store 5 minutes ago) comes and stands in line with his bottle of vodka and a 24-pack of Budweiser.
I just wait.
And wait..
…and wait.
THEN SUDDENLY! REGISTER LADY #2 IS HUSTLING (with belly-fat jiggles) OVER TO THE REGISTER ON THE LEFT!! (By this time cart #1 has not even been 50% unloaded.)
Register Lady #2 calls out to my line in her annoyed, it’s one-o’clock-in-the-morning-and-I-have-a-shitty-shift-at-wal-mart voice, “Ok… come ON over…” *eye roll*
And as I sigh with relief and begin to turn my cart to the left to walk the 5 feet to the next register, Asian-in-the-yellow-shirt from the END OF THE LINE jumps on in front of me. WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!!?
So before I can even say anything, one of the freaky chicks immediately behind me gets about 3 millimeters away from my face, is looking me dead in the eye with SUPER WIDE EYES, and is saying, “THAT GUY JUST CUT YOU! HE JUST CUT YOU! FOR VODKA!!!!”
So now I’m trying to recoup from Freaky Chick in my face who is STILL trying to inform me that Asian-in-the-yellow-shirt just cut in front of me to buy his FREAKING BOOZE because apparently I couldn’t see it for myself (thank you, Freaky Chick.) At this point I just shut down. When people invade my space to inform me of the obvious, it’s more stressful than being cut in front of at Wal Mart. Not only because her blue, bug-eyes were nearly touching mine, but because she was trying to CONVINCE me that Asian is an asshole. Of course Asian is an asshole, I figured that out when I saw his piss colored shirt cutting in front of me, seconds ago.
I am not in the mood to get in an argument, just let Asian and his booze go and I will still get out faster than I would’ve if I was still waiting on the crazy family with three carts.
Keep in mind! Register Lady #2 does not give a shit that Bitchass Asian cut in front of not only me, but everybody behind me. She did not say one word, and without her support I was not going to argue because she already started ringing the kid up like an asshole would do.
Now both Freaky Girls #1 and #2 are discussing how we might be on Candid Camera because on Candid Camera they pull things like this to see if someone might get in an argument and how cool it would be if we were on Candid Camera and what we might say if we were actually on Candid Camera because I saw a Candid Camera episode once and it was JUST LIKE this situation and how it’s so funny that we saw an ACTUAL SCENARIO that is SIMILAR TO WHAT CANDID CAMERA MIGHT ACTUALLY FILM! AND HOW WE STILL MIGHT BE ON CANDID CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
**EXPLOSION!!!!!**
God, I love Wal Mart.
